Its cloudy again

Its cloudy again, and hell has been unleashed.... with a little bit of luck we can make it through the week-end. Oh the joys of work after a holiday. The end is near, one last week-end of hell and then the sun will shine hopefully if not forever for another while.

And the best thing is....

To find the true value of friends. That assist you no matter what, that help you understand yourself, the others and the world as it stands. Hamburg was one of those magic times that I hope to repeat soon if not often. Thanks to all those involved. There was bug in my line of thinking and you not only help me identify it you also helped me fix it. That is what friends are for and you are definitely second to none.

And the worse thing is....

not to know really what it is that you want in your life. To be so confused that any interpretation of it just makes sense instantly. If only I could debug myself to trace through my feelings and find what it is that I am truly after. To stop the emotional threads that shake all my being, to watch my internal state, to resurface with a clear idea of what it is that I am after. Or at least with ownership of the whole thing. At the end of the day this is my life, and I don't even know where to start looking for answers.

Is this the true curse of the lover of complexity? Because if it is.... no one near or far will be spared, and the distinct moss that I described in an earlier post, may just not shield you, may just not be enough.

I am just after some human touch: If all the statues in the world will turn to flesh with teeth of pearl.... will they be kind enough to comfort me?

Pleasant Dreams

I do not know if its pure coincidence but the name of a band in my home town, yes I refer to it like that even if I never lived there, is Pleasant Dreams. I bough at one of their gigs a t-shirt with their name and a bicycle .... Oh boy how can they be so right.

The emotional turmoil of which the previous post is all but a mere reflection is gone. Well a good 20 minute cycle ride listening to Eels can fix a persons mind. Nietzche was right, music is the most depraved of all forms of art for it manages to trigger feelings completely by-passing the rational par of the brain. I guess the hormones, have to check their name, secreted as part of the exercise did the rest.

If only our minds where not so frail. Then we may just not be Hiperboreans any more, we may be perfect.

In matters of the heart

In matters of the heart memories are difficult to handle.
In matters of the heart all else is subdued.
What is reality, what is myth, what is desire?
Which way to go when memories of the past unveil the hidden torrents?

The truth is: I do not know what to do...
Can you help me, my old friend?
Can you put some sense in me, or is it time to go full tilt, to live and regret what happened and not the lack of events.

Dear_Juan

Dear_Juan, originally uploaded by Prozak is gone.

I send the after of me, and i get this one in response. I miss you guys I miss you all!!!!!

After

After, originally uploaded by Prozak is gone.

Tonight in my new flat in Hengelo. Similar sort of setup, the pattern of truth has emerged. I have found myself again, happy again?