not to know really what it is that you want in your life. To be so confused that any interpretation of it just makes sense instantly. If only I could debug myself to trace through my feelings and find what it is that I am truly after. To stop the emotional threads that shake all my being, to watch my internal state, to resurface with a clear idea of what it is that I am after. Or at least with ownership of the whole thing. At the end of the day this is my life, and I don't even know where to start looking for answers.
Is this the true curse of the lover of complexity? Because if it is.... no one near or far will be spared, and the distinct moss that I described in an earlier post, may just not shield you, may just not be enough.
I am just after some human touch: If all the statues in the world will turn to flesh with teeth of pearl.... will they be kind enough to comfort me?
Saturday, April 07, 2007
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