Saturday morning... orrather advanced afternoon. I am alone in my room seing the bright day outside getting ready to grab some breakfast somewhere.

I will meet my girlfriend later on today. Hopefully for a candlelight dinner.
It is a weird feeling of happiness that surrounds me. Oh I enjoy so much the time I spend with her...

Mood: tired but upbeat.

Luck is a form of intelligence

The day has been flying like the normal one. Its Friday so Pub Lunch and
the lot. At least my girlfriend came by this time. I really do enjoy her
presence in my life.

I am speaking about how life is going with an old friend. I say I feel
lucky. She says she's happy for me and that luck is a form of
intelligence. Perhaps the intelligent thing is to consider oneself
lucky, to admit ones bitterness. Or perhaps luck is forced through the
act of the people, and in those intelligence does play a major role.

It is a hard thing to define luck as it only has a positive side. you
would say bad luck, but that is just a semantic way of negating it.
One can work towards something and someone else get it. It is the
unfairness of it all that makes the concept so daunting.

All I have left is to wish my friend good luck which she definetly diserves.

Mood: the afternoon sun shines through the window of my office
tenderness of the rays of the sun which caress my skin... I really have
to finish this darn document.

Which I have now... and sent on to Robin. It should be ok but you never know what the powers that be will think of it.

As I carry on working through the afternoon I have a cold green bean soup. I listen to gabriel by lamb. Waht more can I expect of life at this split second of absolute enlightenment.

Happyness comes out of the simple pleasures of life. Work, if pleasing, can be one of them.

Yesterday wasa Kafkian afternoon. one of those moments of letting go with the flow and avoiding all responsabilities. It is not often that it happens but it did happen. Its scary to which extent its easy to let go... very easy.

Got an e-mail from Sandra. She seems to be ok. I am glad for her.

Life is very funny sometimes. A tender touch is all that is required sometimes to feel a whole lot better.

Its 1 in the morning I have just finished watching the 25th hour. A film about choices. About the choices that people have to made through their lifes. About how even when you blow your chances life smiles back. My sister told me once, in raltion toa nother Irish mob film, life strangles you but does not choke you to death. I guess she was right.

Bless her and bless my nephew that was recently christianed. May he have as much chance as I have had in my life.

Mood: slightly insomniac but looking to the future

Working in the evenings is something I have always enjoyed so I am slowling drifting away on the aftermath of tyhe day as I finish a document that I should have written two weeks agao but that no one will give a shit about.

Academia has its good and its bad sides. I am sailing on the positive gradient... this is nice....

I do appologise to my gril-friend she does understand my passion. She would just prefer that the pasion was like that for her too. It will be...

On the mean time take care.... I will post all the incidents that happen. And also some recipies of course. I will feel like cooking again pretty soon.

Mood: brilliant....

The meeting went ok. I have now a sense of relief. Things are looking brighter and brighter...

I am still scared as social punishment always comes with a backlash... but hey... Who knows. Happiness has a price and I am ready to pay it.

Went for lunch with my girlfriend. Now that she has time for me I really can see that the relationship has potential. I guess the more I see her the more time I want to spend with her.

Tomorrow is the big step. Hopefully it will all go fine and I will not have to worry about the unspeakable.

I have managed to do some work today. Now I am just going back home to sort out the mess in my room. Ithink my girlfriend will be dropping by a bit later....

Mood: uplifted.

Last night we took along walk around the canal. If this city was always like what it is being now life would be a lot better. The decission carries on and yes tomorrow is the day in which we start to make things different. I do not know if for better or for worse but hopefully all for the better.

Its a bright summer day and I pitty those that have to study. At least my girlfriend has finished her exams. It is so nice to have her back.

Well the mood is down... but the quiet is there before the storm...

Lets kick some arse... and some proper arse.

I have not posted in a while. This is mainly due to the fact that I was away. As in just bouncing about. I went to assist to my nephews christianing. I have to admit.. I am getting more and mote used to the other side of the family. The whole thing was ok. Although I understood why my girlfriend did not want to jump in on the adventure.

I have taken many decissions about the unspeakable. I have taken many possible courses of action ... I dont know which ones will be better... but hell is going to break loose. And I am gonna make sure those who diservit get it...

It has been quite a relaxing time to spend some time with my parents. I do enjoy their company but my life is different.

One of the hardest things in life is to take a decission, in full knowledge of consequences, the second hardest is to find the courage to implement it.

I have done the hardest. Now lets see how it all evolves and in which way the wind blows... Lets rock.

State: Scared to death. But with the duty having to be acomplished for my own good.