Of late I have come to think that I may be suffering from some sort of bipolarity. One moment all is fine the next I plummet to the bottom of an abyss. The mood swing is usually associated with a problem, most commonly a technical one. When I am at rock bottom my brain stops to work, and i make mistakes. Those mistakes are beginning to bear its tall. Last week, on Thursday, I had to make a call that hurt me badly. I had to cancel my trip to London. It was the right call as I have managed to do what is needed for Monday and get some precious sleep.
It just sucks that I have switch back to this live to work mode. I can not achieve the work life balance that I would need to. I have switched back to be an absolute rookie. And I still have much to learn in the trade. Not all systems are the same, not all schools are similar. This is the old school way. The only reason why I chose this job. So I just have to grin and bear it.
I have always been bipolar when my brain is evolving, I guess it is part of how I am. I need energy to stabilize my moods. Well it wont be a pretty sight but I will make it through.
This just feels like I am about to get my wings of honour and they will shine nicely on my shoulder when I finally get them.
All my apologies to those I wanted to see this week-end I will be back shortly.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
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